


Emperor’s Pawn

by RainbowJeff



Category: The Owl House (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F, Implied Relationships, Past Relationship(s), emperors coven Amity, help please, wtf gay angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2020-08-26
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:35:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26048122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RainbowJeff/pseuds/RainbowJeff
Summary: Amity walked the spiraling stairs to the dungeon, hand dragging along the cold stone walls. Her keys jingled at her belt, echoing throughout the stairwell, and she sweated behind her beaked mask. To any passerby, she was just another coven member, a loyal pawn.
Relationships: Amity Blight/Luz Noceda
Comments: 75
Kudos: 715





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The new episode killed me so I wrote this

Amity kneeled before the emperor, head bowed in obedience. She didn’t want to be here, feeling the emperor’s eyes rake over her small form. 

“Amity Blight.”

She shivered, raising her head to look in the emperor’s soulless eyes, hidden behind his mask.

“You have served me well over the years.”

_I didn’t have a choice._

“However, it seems a certain someone from your past has decided to rear their ugly head.”

Amity’s eyes widened just a fraction, imperceptible to the emperor.

“Don’t worry, we took care of the issue. I’m giving you the honor of issuing their sentence.”

Her head pounded uncomfortably, palms damp with sweat.

“It’s an honor, Emperor Belos.”

“Good.”

~~~

Amity walked the spiraling stairs to the dungeon, hand dragging along the cold stone walls. Her keys jingled at her belt, echoing throughout the stairwell, and she sweated behind her beaked mask. To any passerby, she was just another coven member, a loyal pawn. 

Her footsteps were heavy and too loud in the empty space around her.

Up ahead, the green lights of the dungeon glowed, cursed flames that lit it shining off the walls. Her heart pounded now, along with the throbbing headache.

As usual, Amity shuddered as she entered the dungeon, the helpless ambience that was unique to this place sleeping into her soul. 

Prisoners lined the walls, each stuck in their own respective cells. Some were chained to the walls, some curled up on their wooden pallets. 

All of them looked like they’d had the life sucked out of them.

In the last cell, Amity’s prisoner awaited.

She took a shuddering breath and made her way towards them.

They were chained to the wall behind them, fists clenched and head hung in defeat. Their clothes were torn and dirty, dark hair hanging greasy and limp. As Amity approached, they raised their head.

She felt like the air had been knocked out of her. 

Luz’s grimy face stared back at her, her chocolate brown eyes staring into the empty holes of Amity’s mask.

She struggled to catch her breath, staring at the face she could never forget.

_Luz…._

Memories ripped through Amity, each more painful than the last.

~

_Luz ran into her room, eyes red and watering with tears. She crossed over to Amity, throwing her arms around her, clutching her for dear life._

_“Luz! What’s wrong?”_

_“They took Eda!”_

_She looked up at Amity with wide eyes, a pleading look in them._

_“We have to get her back!”_

_“Please help me.”_

_Amity held Luz closer, rubbing a hand on her back in comfort._

_“We will.”_

_~_

_Amity was helping Luz clean out the Owl House, and a somber mood hung in the air._

_She watched Luz pack some of Eda’s things in a cardboard box. Owlbert hooted softly in the corner._

_“Luz…”_

_The girl wouldn’t look at her._

_“I’m sorry about Eda.”_

_She watched a tear slide down Luz’s face, staining a picture that she was holding._

_“It wasn’t your fault.”_

_~_

_Months passed, and Luz was more distant than she’d ever been._

_Amity felt lost, unsure of how to comfort her._

_As Luz’s 15th birthday approached, she seemed to perk up a little, and Amity felt a small amount of hope._

_At her party, Luz looked happier than she’d been for awhile, and Amity saw her laugh for the first time in months. She felt her heart warm at the sight._

_“Amity, come on, we’re cutting the cake!”_

_She smiled and joined the rest of the party._

_Later that evening, Luz pulled her aside and the two of them went for a walk under the stars. As Luz stared open mouthed at the countless galaxies, Amity felt something stir in her chest._

_“Luz-“_

_When Luz turned and looked at her, stars shining in her eyes, Amity lost her words._

_Like magnets, the two were pulled closer to each other, and Luz’s warm lips pressed against her own. When she pulled away, the other girl was flushed and beaming._

_Amity finally felt like things would be okay._

_~_

_Amity was the happiest she’d ever been._

_Luz and her were steady, keeping each other in check, and she’d become closer friends with Willow and Gus in the process. Of course, Luz still had her bad days, but Amity was always there to comfort her._

_Things were good._

_Of course, all goods things had to end._

_Luz showed up one day looking like she’d seen a ghost. When Amity tried to question her, Luz shook her off and stared out the window._

_It made her feel helpless again._

_The spell passed, and Amity foolishly wrote it off as another one of Luz’s bad days._

_In the following week, Luz was extra affectionate towards all of them, which Amity didn’t mind at all._

_She should’ve known._

_One day, Amity was walking to the Owl House, hoping to surprise Luz for their 6th month anniversary. As she poked her head in, she immediately noticed that something was wrong. The house had been picked clean, all the photographs removed from the walls and tables, clothes that had been strewn about picked up and packed away. She saw a light radiating from one of the rooms and went to investigate._

_Luz stood in front of the portal, staring at a photograph that she had clutched in her hands. Her head whipped around, and she blanched when she saw Amity._

_Amity felt her heart break._

_“Luz… are you leaving?”_

_Luz tucked the photo into her hoodie pocket and wrapped her arms around Amity._

_“I’m so sorry, but I have to go home.”_

_Amity pushed her away, tears running down her face. Luz looked heartbroken._

_“I’ll be back, I promise.”_

_Luz gave her a sad smile and walked into the portal, which shut behind her and disappeared._

_Amity buried her face in her hands and sobbed._

_That was five years ago._

_~~~_

Amity threw off her mask, unable to breathe. 

Luz’s eyes widened, shock etched into her features. The lines of her face were sharper, hair longer and just as untidy, and she looked worn.

“Amity?”

She almost let out a choked sob. 

“Is that you?”

Amity swallowed the lump in her throat, and answered in a weak voice.

“Yes.”

“You look different.”

She subconsciously ran a hand through her hair, tearing her eyes away from Luz.

“I stopped dying it years ago.”

“Oh.”

Amity swallowed again.

“You look different too.”

Luz didn’t answer, eyes cast on the floor and head hung low again.

Amity felt her heart grow cold as the shock wore off. She pulled her mask back on, ignoring the thrumming of her pulse, and took out Luz’s sentencing. 

“Luz Noceda.”

Luz looked up again, face unreadable. 

“You are charged with unlawful use of magic, refusing to join a coven, coercing with covenless witches, and communicating with demons.” 

Luz’s eyes narrowed, a frown etched on her features. 

“You have been found guilty of all crimes and are sentenced to life in the Confirmatorium.”

Amity rolled up the scroll and tucked it back into her robes. 

She turned on her heel and walked out of the dungeon, leaving her broken heart behind with Luz.

  
  
  



	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cannot sleep, therefore, more of this sad gay shit.

Amity watched the procession of armed guards lead _her_ out of the castle. Even from a distance away, Amity could see how the manacles dug into _her_ wrists, rubbing them raw and bloody. Amity stood indifferently as _she_ walked past, and _she_ threw a pleading look her way, chocolate eyes melting the broken pieces of her heart.

Amity stared back, unyielding, refusing to acknowledge the hurt and anger she felt towards the girl, no, woman.

She wouldn’t even think of _her_ name.

_Better to forget._

_She left. She left you._

Amity turned away, leaving those pleading chocolate eyes behind. 

~~~

Somehow, she found herself by Eda’s cage.

She hadn’t seen the beast in years, not since she first joined the coven and the emperor had proudly shown her off, like a prized possession. She remembered feeling sick with guilt during the tour.

Eda was asleep, huge form rising and falling with each breath she took. Amity rapped her knuckles on the bars, causing the owl lady to stir, black eyes shifting around until they landed on her. The beast rose and cocked her head to the side, studying Amity.

Eda let out a sudden snarl, eyes narrowing and fangs barring as she stared at her.

“Do you remember me?”

The beast sniffed and threw her head haughtily, causing Amity’s heart to sink.

“Do you remember _her_?”

Shifting her weight, Eda looked at her again with an almost quizzical expression, and ruffled her feathers.

“ _Luz_. Do you remember Luz?”

Amity choked out her name like it was a curse.

The beast let out a haunting howl, almost a cry of pain, and threw herself against the bars, causing them to shake and groan under her weight. Amity stumbled back in fear, not wanting to rile Eda up any further. 

She retreated slowly, trying to block out the howls emerging from deep inside the beast’s body. Once she was far away enough, Amity almost ran from the room, emotions a tangled knot in her chest. 

The pressing weight of guilt threatened to consume her. 

~~~

Amity knew that she wasn’t alright. It was self destructive.

But she couldn’t stop. 

How could anyone stop _her_?

The girl who could warm anyone’s heart, from a covenless old criminal to Amity herself, how could anyone stop her. She was everywhere in Amity’s memories, littered in even the most innocent of places.

It was an addiction.

It was like locking an alcoholic in a room filled with the oldest, sweetest smelling whiskey in the world. When free, the alcoholic would happily drink the whiskey, despite the repercussions. When the whiskey was taken away, the alcoholic would mourn its loss and go through withdrawal, but eventually recover. 

However, when the alcoholic was chained to their chair, whiskey just a foot away from them, it drove them insane. 

Amity was addicted to _her_ , and she was chained to a chair, unable to reach _her_.

But it wasn’t quite the same as the third situation. In Amity’s case, she had the key to free herself, but if she did so, she would be thrown out of the coven.

Why risk her safety and security for someone who abandoned _her_?

_No, better to forget._

Amity was finding it increasingly hard to listen to rational thoughts.

~~~

A month into Luz’s return, Amity had found herself in the habit of regularly visiting the Conformitorium. 

Oh, and she let herself think of Luz's name now. A small sip wouldn’t kill her. 

During her years in the coven, she tended to avoid the place like the plague, preferring to capture troublemakers and bring them in rather than babysitting them all day. 

It certainly wasn’t the Conformitorium’s newest occupant that drew her there. “No”, she had said to the emperor, “I’m just broadening my horizons.”

Amity knew he didn’t believe her.

She found herself passing by Luz’s cell nearly everyday, forcing herself to move along each time she did so, only allowing herself a lingering glance at the woman. 

She could feel her resolve slowly weakening. 

On a rather unlucky evening, the emperor took note of Amity’s new hobby and assigned her to guard duty. She grit her teeth behind her mask and bowed, muttering her thanks to him.

Amity _hated_ guard duty.

Her mood improved somewhat when she learned she was stationed in Luz’s cell block.

As the hours wore on, so did Amity’s patience with her current situation. Every time the click of her boots echoed past Luz’s cell, the woman looked up and fixed her eyes on Amity’s form. Her mask completely covered her face, but she could tell that Luz knew it was her pacing back and forth in front of her. 

After the tenth lap or so, Amity caught Luz doing some ridiculous thing every time she passed. One time she was laying on her back, head hanging off her cot and feet propped against the wall, another she was flexing her biceps and wearing an innocent look. On Amity’s current lap, she saw Luz flash her a peace sign and a smug grin. 

She refused to look at the woman after that. 

Near midnight, Amity passed by and saw Luz huddled on the floor. Her footsteps slowed, and as she grew closer Amity noticed her drawing something on the floor with her finger. When she reached the cell, Luz tapped the drawing and an orb of light floated up from it. 

Amity frowned and stopped in front of Luz. Magic wasn’t supposed to work in the cells. 

“Stop that immediately, prisoner.”

Luz looked up and grinned again, moved into a standing position and cupped the ball of light in her hands.

“I knew it was you.”

The ball of light reflected off her face, softening her features and basking her in a warm glow. 

“Take that ridiculous mask off, there’s no point to it anymore.”

Amity’s hands betrayed her, and she pulled the mask over her head.

“Turn off your magic.”

Luz pouted, tossing the ball up and catching it again, eyes twinkling with mirth.

“Or I’ll do it for you.”

Holding a hand over her heart, Luz let out a fake shocked gasp. 

“You wouldn’t!”

“Try me, Luz.”

The name felt foreign and wrong on her tongue. 

“I’ll try you, then.”

Amity felt her face warm, and scowled at the woman, who just smiled and tossed the light up again. Amity’s hands shook as she took out her keys and unlocked the door. 

For the first time in years, no barrier stood between them. 

Amity reached out and crushed the light in her hand, earning a crestfallen look from Luz. The woman quickly reached down and touched the floor again, summoning another ball of light. She met Amity’s eyes with a defiant look in her own.

“Do you actually want me to chain you to the wall?”

Luz grinned and held out her hands, waiting for Amity to cuff her.

“If you insist.”

Amity rolled her eyes.

“When did you get so cheeky?”

“When did you get so obedient?”

Luz’s defiant look only grew bolder.

“The Amity I knew always had a little bit of rebellion in her.”

She flushed, trying to hide from Luz how much those words affected her. Amity wanted so much that she couldn’t have. A familiar feeling raced through her body, one unique to only when Luz was around her.

A dangerous feeling.

Amity moved towards Luz, until they were close enough to touch. Luz raised an eyebrow, chocolate eyes glinting with an unreadable expression. 

“You want rebellion?”

She caught an almost imperceptible nod from Luz.

“I’ll give you rebellion.”

Her brain screamed _No!_...... but her heart screamed _Yes!_

Amity cupped Luz’s jaw with her hand, and tilted her head up until their lips met in a burning kiss. 

Luz’s lips felt feverish.

As quickly as it happened, Amity pulled back and left the cell, locking the door, leaving a dumbfounded Luz behind her.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually like writing Cheeky!Luz soooooooo


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Awwwww, Amity’s gone soft

It would’ve been more dramatic if Amity didn’t have to finish out her shift. 

She forced her mind to go blank, refusing to dwell on what just happened between them. Her head pounded in an unsteady rhythm with her heart, and she paced the halls faster. In her distraction, Amity ran into an underling, who cowered when he looked at her. Studying him for a second, she issued an order with a wave of her hand.

“Get the prisoner in cell 3319 some water. She’s dehydrated.”

The underling bowed and ran off in a hurry.

Amity sighed and rubbed her temples.

_ Get a grip, Blight. _

_ You went too far this time.  _

As she paced through the corridor, she refused to look at Luz. Even when the underling came back with her water, Amity kept her eyes straight forward, thoughts buried. 

Sometime around midnight, a guard came and relieved Amity of her duty. She removed her robe and mask, before making her way down the hall one last time. 

_ Don’t look. _

_ It’s not worth the pain. _

Really, she tried.

Amity’s eyes glanced to the left, just a fleeting look, but it was enough to rip her apart. 

Luz lay on her back, one knee up and one leg dangling off the cot. Her fingers absentmindedly traced her lips. The cup of water sat untouched on the floor. 

Amity couldn’t stop herself. 

“Drink it.”

Luz looked up and held Amity’s gaze. Slowly, she reached down and grabbed the cup, bringing it to her lips. Amity watched, mesmerized. Luz swallowed, sending a shiver down her spine, and set the cup back down. 

“Thanks.”

The huskiness of her voice nearly threw Amity over the edge. It took every ounce of willpower she had to keep walking.

~~~

It was three weeks, two days, and ten hours before Amity had the courage to visit the Conformitorium again. It certainly wasn’t that she couldn’t keep herself away any longer.

As she walked by Luz’s cell again, the woman perked up and waved to her. Her step faltered, and Amity managed a half-hearted wave, before noticing how skinny Luz was. Her ribs stuck out, and her cheekbones were even more pronounced than usual. Amity felt her face burn in rage.

She strode off towards the warden’s office, throwing open the door without knocking. The warden startled, almost falling off his chair.

“Miss Blight! It’s an honor!”

“The amount of food you’re providing to Luz is unacceptable.”

The warden looked puzzled.

“Who?”

“Prisoner 3319. You are to give her more food starting immediately, or I’ll have your head.”

The warden scowled and looked her up and down.

“On whose orders?”

Amity crossed her arms and fixed him with a glare.

“Mine.”

With that, she strode out of the office, leaving the warden a little puzzled and very terrified.

~~~

After that, Amity visited nearly twice a week to make sure Luz was eating and drinking. Luz had gotten into the habit of showing Amity her empty cups and trays, usually followed by some variation of “See, I’m still alive”.

The two fell into a strange rhythm.

Every time Amity would visit, Luz would make sure to break some obscure and ridiculous rule, to which Amity would reprimand her and Luz would ignore it. Amity would then sigh in fake defeat, and at that point Luz would apologize and jokingly beg for forgiveness. 

Some instances were mild, others slightly heartbreaking, some traumatizing, and some kept Amity up for nights, like the mashed potato incident.

They didn’t talk about the mashed potato incident. 

They also didn’t talk about the kiss.

It was a twisted cycle, and it made Amity feel like she was on some sick power trip. 

It also gave her a reason to wake up in the morning.

Every time she visited the Conformitorium, she felt herself slipping, the chain holding her back loosening link by link.

Every time something happened, she could feel Emperor Belos breathing down her neck, waiting for her to break.

Amity wouldn’t give him the satisfaction.

~~~

One morning, the air felt different. The world seemed a little brighter. But something was missing…….

Oh. 

It was  _ today. _

Amity sat bolt upright, heart thumping and palms sweating. 

It was Luz’s birthday.

She dug her hands into her hair, letting out a long groan before sinking back onto her bed.

_ Fuck. _

Amity threw herself out of bed and got dressed, running a brush through her hair, taking extra care with her appearance just this once. As she realized what she was doing, Amity threw down the brush with a growl.

_ You don’t need to look good for Luz.  _

_ You’re her  _ captor.

_ Guard. _

_ Ex. _

Whatever.

_ What the hell am I supposed to give her? _

~~~

This was how Amity found herself walking to the Conformitorium with a book clutched underneath her arm. 

She felt exactly like she had before Grom.

A schoolgirl with a schoolgirl crush.

Things were so much more complicated now.

Amity found herself sick with nerves as she walked towards Luz’s cell, unable to tame the emotions that ran rampant within her.

As usual, Luz brighted when she saw Amity, still possessing the uncanny ability to tell it was her behind the mask. She waved as Amity neared.

“Hey Amity!”

“Hey, Luz.”

Luz’s smile didn’t dim at Amity’s flat tone.

“Whatcha got there?”

Amity removed her mask and took a shaky breath.

“Your birthday present.”

The woman looked shocked for a microsecond, before her face split into a beaming grin and she spread her arms.

“You remembered! Come here, give me a hug!”

“No.”

Amity held out the book as Luz pouted. She eventually took the book, gasping as she read the title.

“Azura book 5! That’s like, my favorite book ever.”

Luz’s face was bright with childlike innocence, and Amity felt her already broken heart being smashed to pieces.

“I know.”

Her gaze shifted to Amity’s, face falling as she took in her sad expression.

“Amity-“

“I’ll see you later Luz.”

She turned and started away when Luz spoke again.

“You look nice today.”

She whipped her head around, taking in the slight blush on the woman’s cheeks, a sheepish expression on her face.

“Just thought you should know.”

Luz didn’t see, but a small smile lingered on Amity’s lips as she walked away.

~~~

  
  


Amity ended up returning later that night, to see how Luz was enjoying her book. Instead, she found the woman curled up on her bed, staring at the wall. Frowning, Amity rapped her knuckles on the bars, startling Luz. 

“Where’s the book?”

Luz scuffed her shoe against the floor, muttering dejectedly.

“Some guards took it.”

Amity felt her blood boil, and she stalked off towards the barracks. On her way, she picked up some rambunctious laughter, and stumbled across a group of guards tossing the Azura book back and forth between them. 

Without thinking, she summoned and launched a fireball at them, causing them to yelp and scatter, dropping the book. As they turned to run, Amiy caught one with a magic noose, pulling him towards her. She held the shaking guard by the collar.

“Tell your friends, if you  _ ever  _ touch this again, I will personally feed you to a Slitherbeast.”

He nodded frantically, running as fast as he could once Amity released him from her hold.

She promptly returned the book to Luz, who beamed her thanks.

After that day, the other guards called her “3319’s Guard-ian”. Amity let the nickname stay, since she found it quite fitting.

Something had changed that day.

It felt like they were healing.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lost in you, lost in me  
> Afraid of love, in too deep  
> So we just run and hide  
> Lighting fast, felt the crash  
> Scared to loose, fear attacks  
> We only know goodbyes 
> 
> \- Holding On For Life by Ellie Golding
> 
> This song is like the really big mood of this story, give it a listen if you want, it’s also a banger.
> 
> https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=2XJphXsDrIA


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anyone else get major Horde Prime vibes from the emperor?

Almost a week later, Amity received a summon from the emperor.

Attempting to contain her trembling, she made her way to the throne room.

The space was as daunting as ever. Palace guards flanked the red carpet that led to the throne, in which Emperor Belos sat. As she made her way to the throne, a pair of guards abruptly crossed their spears in front of her. With an almost lazy flick of his hand, the emperor dismissed them. Amity approached his throne and bowed.

“Rise.”

She did, and the dark holes of his mask seemed to bore into her soul.

“Amity, my child, you’ve put me in a difficult situation.”

She felt the blood in her body freeze, and Amity forced herself to answer the emperor.

“How so, Your Emperorship?”

He chuckled and crossed his legs.

“Tell me, what do you think about love?”

Amity felt her heart perform an impressive series of leaps in her chest. She cocked her head in a slight air of confusion.

“I think it’s irrational, Your Excellence.”

The emperor sighed, and Amity knew he was smiling behind the mask.

“Yes, I suppose it is irrational. Have you ever been in love, Miss Blight?”

Her hands clenched into fists, and she forced herself to relax, letting out a breath.

“I thought so once.”

Emperor Belos let out another chuckle, this one louder than the first.

“Was it her?”

Amity froze. Her thoughts raced.

_How much does he know?_

“I’m afraid I don’t know who you’re referring to, Your Excellence.”

He rose, striding towards her until the two were just feet apart. She was acutely aware of the guards observing every second of their conversation.

“Amity, ignorance doesn’t suit you. I’m sure that you know I’m referring to one Luz Noceda.”

The name sounded like acid on his tongue.

“What a curious name for a curious witch. The only human I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing.”

Amity felt like the walls were closing around her. She managed to choke out a response.

“Her name means light.”

If the emperor wasn’t smiling before, Amity was certain that he was now. 

“How fitting. Did she tell you that?”

“Yes, Your Emperorship.”

“How _very_ curious.”

Amity’s stomach was a knotted mess at this point, while the emperor appeared totally at ease. She suspected he was enjoying toying with her.

“Allow me one more question, my child.”

_As if I have a choice._

“Do you still love her?”

His words ripped through like a knife. She felt raw, exposed, her life lain open at the emperor’s feet.

“I-“

“I can’t say.”

Emperor Belos sighed, sitting himself back down and ran a hand across his mask.

“So very disappointing.”

Amity knelt again, letting the cold waves of disapproval radiate over her. She felt weak with fear.

“Stand up.”

She obeyed.

The emperor studied her for a moment, before flicking his wrist in a dismissive gesture.

“Very well, you may leave.”

Amity bowed low again, and turned to leave. As she walked down the carpet, she could feel the cold stares of the guards follow her.

The unspoken threats of the emperor rung in her ears. 

_If you cross me again, I will destroy everything you love, starting with her._

~~~

Amity avoided the Conformitorium like the plague. 

Every time she passed by it, a stabbing pain of longing echoed through her, but she tamped it down. By now, it was almost second nature. 

The only time she felt like entering the place was when she thought of Luz, which was to say most of her waking moments. Her headstrong resolve wavered when Amity imagined Luz sitting alone in that cell, knees tucked to her chest, staring sadly at the book. 

But it wasn’t enough to dissauge the fear she felt.

_Nothing is worth the emperor’s wrath._

Amity felt herself going a little crazy after the first couple of months, each night bringing her less and less sleep.

_What if she’s not there anymore?_

_What if the emperor had her taken away?_

_Does she still miss me?_

_Does she know how much I want to see her?_

A reprieve occurred when she received a notice for guard duty at the Conformitorium. Equal parts dread and relief spread through her veins, and Amity felt like she could breathe for the first time in months.

As the Fates were both cruel and forgiving, the warden assigned her to Luz’s cell block when she arrived.

By the time Amity rounded the corner to Luz’s row of cells, her footsteps seemed to reflect desperation in her, and it took everything she had not to run to the woman. 

Her heart seemed to swell with happiness when she saw Luz sitting on her bed, and she let go of a breath she didn’t know she was holding.

Luz didn’t look up as Amity’s steps reached her. 

“Luz!”

Amity’s voice came out as a quiet whisper, and the woman’s head raised a fraction of an inch. Luz murmured to herself, and she caught a few of the words.

“-can’t….a dream.”

“Luz, it’s me.”

She finally turned to Amity, who had removed her mask, and her eyes widened with surprise. Instead of the beaming smile Amity expected, the shock on her face faded and was replaced with anger. She took a step back as Luz all but shouted at her.

“Where were you!?”

“I-“

Amity turned her head around, glancing to the other prisoners, desperately hoping none of them were paying attention.

“Keep your voice down!”

As quickly as it’d come, the anger on Luz’s face was replaced by an indecipherable expression. She hung her head again.

“Guess I deserved it.”

Confusion spread across Amity’s face. 

“Now I know what a cut and run feels like. It must’ve been so much worse for you.”

_Oh._

“It wasn’t like that!”

Luz looked unbearably sad.

_I wish I could explain._

“Just leave me alone right now, Amity.”

The crushed pieces of her heart felt like they were being flattened in a vice clamp.

She spent the rest of the night in agony while Luz stared at the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please please please please please leave comments I am a whore for validation.


	5. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What’s this? Backstory?

Against all common sense, Amity went back to the Conformitorium the following day. 

She’d spent the majority of the morning debating whether it was a good idea or not, and decided that she really didn’t care about the repercussions anymore. She wouldn’t spend another night watching Luz sit in silence with no life in her eyes.

Amity could feel the emperor’s looming presence, watching always. 

_ It’s worth it. _

_ I’m tired of being a pawn. _

The dark hallways of the Conformitorium were almost a comfort compared to the oppressive nature of the throne room.

Amity strode down the halls, her mind clear for the first time in awhile. Her footsteps thumped in a steady rhythm with her heart.

Almost as she knew Amity was coming, Luz stood leaning against the bars of her cell, eyes scanning the corridor until they landed on her. Her gaze was startingly intense.

Their eyes met as Amity stood in front of her, gold staring into chocolate brown. She felt her cheeks flush, and a tiny smile appeared on Luz’s face. 

“How’s it going?”

_ How’s it going? Are you brain dead? _

Amity felt like smacking herself. Apparently all of her brain cells ceased to function when Luz was in her presence. To her credit, the woman’s smile widened, and Amity almost had to stop herself from smiling as well.

Love is a strange thing.

“I’m doing just peachy.”

Luz rapped the bars of her cell with her knuckles.

“Except for the fact that I’m stuck in here.”

Amity cast her eyes down, feeling strangely ashamed.

“Ah.”

Luz sat on her bed, and Amity could see the tip of the Azura book peeking out from underneath the covers. The sight warmed her heart just a fraction. 

“Why are you here?”

_ That’s a good question. _

“I don’t know.”

With a thoughtful expression on her face, Luz patted the space next to her.

“Sit down.”

Oh, how she  _ wanted  _ to. 

“I can’t.”

Luz’s expression shifted into one of pleading, big chocolate eyes seeming to melt Amity’s heart. After six years, that look never failed to reduce Amity into a big pile of mush.

“Please?”

A slave to her emotions, Amity’s hands moved on their own. She unlocked the cell door and stepped inside. 

Luz patted the space next to her again, and she sat obediently.

They were  _ much  _ too close.

She could feel every breath that Luz took, every little movement that she made, and if Amity listened hard enough, she could hear the other woman’s heartbeat.

“I never did tell why I left, did I?”

Amity whipped her head around to look at Luz, who was twiddling her thumbs, a downcast expression on her face.

“You don’t have to, if you don’t want to.”

Her heart was thumping, and Luz let out a sigh.

“I want to.”

The pain in her eyes was evident, but Amity wanted to know the truth too much to stop her.

Luz took a long breath.

“One day, I got a letter from my mom, telling me that she was sick. She had a disease called cancer. There’s no real cure for it.”

Luz’s face fell and Amity felt like wrapping her arms around the woman.

“So, I left. I thought it was better not to tell you guys, I didn’t want you to worry. I guess that made it worse though.”

_ I missed you so much. _

“I stayed with my mom, doing everything I could to make it better for her. We went through chemotherapy, radiation, all the things that are supposed to help. Nothing worked. I felt so helpless the whole time, I didn’t know any healing spells, and my mom probably wouldn’t have allowed me to use them anyway.”

She was crying by now, tears running down her face, while Amity sat next to her, unable to speak.

“She died just after my 18th birthday. Since I was an adult now, I was on my own. I tried to make it by myself, using the small inheritance I had to rent an apartment and buy food. I tried to start my career as an artist, something I’d always wanted to do, but it never took off. After a couple years, the money had run out and I had nothing and no one.”

A couple of tears fell down her face, and Amity realized she was crying too.

“So, I came back. I saw Gus and Willow, who were angry with me at first but softened when I told them my story. I tried asking about you, but they clammed up and wouldn’t tell me anything.”

At this, Luz looked at her, hoping for an explanation, and Amity felt her face flush with shame.

_ I made so many mistakes. _

“I shut them out after you left. Every moment with them reminded me of you.”

Amity felt Luz’s hand on her shoulder, and when she looked up, the woman pulled her into a hug. 

_ Oh my Azura. _

Luz’s body was warm against hers, and the two fit together so well that an overwhelming pang of longing ran through Amity. She felt slightly delirious.

_ I can’t have this. _

She pulled back, and Luz awkwardly cleared her throat, shifting her weight so the two were farther apart than before.

“Anyway, I went to the Owl House and crashed there, then set up a temporary camp. I visited the mansion once, but you weren’t there, so I didn’t stick around. I did pretty well the first couple of months, Willow and Gus helped to bring me food and taught me a few new spells. One day, I was walking in the woods when the emperor’s goons picked me up and threw me in the dungeon. The rest is history.”

Luz looked at her with a little smile, and Amity didn’t know if her heart could break into more pieces than it already had.

“That’s a lot.”

_ Wow! What a great observation Amity! _

“Yep.”

She opened her mouth to say something, hopefully something more meaningful, but the sound of boots echoed through the hallway. In a flash, Amity extracted herself from the cell and locked it, pulling the mask back over her head.

As the guards passed, she nodded to them, and they left without more than a second glance. She let out an exhale.

Amity turned back towards Luz, who was doing her best to look inconspicuous. The two regarded each other for a moment, but the tension became too much for her to handle and she turned away.

“I’ll be back tomorrow.”

She thought she heard a smile in Luz’s voice.

“You better.”

As she strode away, a thought that Amity had been toying with crossed her mind again. 

_ She doesn’t belong there. _

_ And I don’t belong here anymore. _

Something like a plan formed in her mind, something so incredibly insane that it might just work.

She wouldn’t spend another day watching Luz waste away in that cell. 

_ Never again. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *singing* comments and kudos give me life, so give some if you liked

**Author's Note:**

> This might just be a one shot but who knows


End file.
